I went to a speed dating event last night. I had my questions ready, it was girls night to do the asking. I know I ask or make comments that possibly turn many of the guys off. One question I ask them is if they believe a mother should work and let someone else care for their children during the day. Most men it seems want their wives to work. I figure it’s a good thing to talk about first in a relationship. I don’t want to start up a relationship with someone that doesn’t want me to stay home and care for our children. I have strong feelings about being able to be at home with the children. So many of the children I see that have grown up in daycare’s have behavior problems. A lack of parental discipline at a young age when their personalities are forming has left them too much on their own. Daycare’s are unable to discipline the children in a way that makes them really not want to exhibit the same behavior again.
When children reach their teenage years, it can be dangerous for them to arrive at home each day without any supervision. The temptations are there to do things they would never have done if Mom was home. Friends tend to come over more, boys may press girls into doing things they are not ready to do.
That question is one of my top questions on my list that I ask. It does limit my choices for someone to date, but there is no reason to start any type of a relationship where the guy has strict feelings about the wife working.
Last night, I was sitting in my seat that I remained in for the whole event. I had my questions ready. As each new potential date sat down, I tried to start off with a simple question like where did you grow up just to sort of relax him. Next I would ask what type of work he does. Does he enjoy his work? Then I get a little more personal. I ask what is it they are looking for in a date and a possible future wife. Now I have set it up to ask them how they feel about their wife being an at home mom. Sure I would work until I had a child, but afterwards, I would like to stay at home to raise our children. Most of the men wanted their wives to work. How else would they be able to buy all the things they had ever dreamed of owning. The nice big house with a huge yard. Maybe a few acres around it. The fancy sports car and the SUV for the wife. It seemed like every guy there wanted the same thing. A big house and an fancy sports car. There was only a couple of guys left for tonight’s session. I thought I was going to be leaving without any chance of a date again. It wouldn’t be the first time, but I knew it was because of what I was looking for, not because of them. The last guy sat down in front of me. We were both tired, it had been a long night. We just looked at each other and smiled. For some reason things felt a little different with this guy. I started off with my usual questions, but then I just said, ” what the heck. Let me ask you my most important question that helps me decide if I want to take a chance with dating you.” So I asked him. He seemed to think over the question very carefully before replying. I think he wanted to be sure to say what he thought I wanted to hear. So I told him to be honest. The right answer means a lot to me. He then started to reply. He said,” I feel a mother’s first job should be to raise her children. Children need their mother. The only other thing that could be done if there is a financial need would be to work different shifts so that one parent would always be home with the children. I would rather not do that though since the reason I marry a woman is to be with her, not just live in the same house.” We then finished our session and the speed date night was over. I let the committee know I picked the last guy as someone I wanted to get to know better. As I sat there waiting to hear if someone was interested in dating me, I noticed him looking my way several times. Then one of the event people came over with a list of potential people who were interested in me. His name was on the list. I told them he was the only one I had an interest in.
That was last night. It was fun, I really had a good time. Now I am going to the park down the street to have my first date with Dale, the guy I met last night at the speed dating event. I am ready to have even more fun. We are going fishing at the lake. We both like simple things like that.
Always be sure to be honest when you reply to the questions the person is asking. They mean a lot and not being honest could mean the relationship not lasting. Then you will be back at the speed dating events again, starting over.